Umineko: When They Review

Symbol of the Ushiromiya family, the one winged eagle.

Scale: 1 – 10 (1 Blah - 10 Paafekto!)


So, here I am, watching anime when I notice a title on the screen:


Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, or better yet, When the Seagulls Cry


Of course, being the inquisitive little bugger I am, and highly curious due to the immense [in my personal opinion] popularity of Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni, or When the Cicadas Cry, as to what the series was about. Not only that, but I was bored. But hey, why sweat the little details.


Umineko is, and I quote,


"Considered as the third installment in the highly popular "When They Cry" series by 07th Expansion, Umineko no Naku Koro Ni takes place on the island of Rokkenjima (六軒島), owned by the immensely wealthy Ushiromiya family. As customary per year, the entire family is gathering on the island for a conference that discusses the current financial situations of each respective person. Because of the family head's poor health, this year involves the topic of the head of the family's inheritance and how it will be distributed. However, the family is unaware that the distribution of his wealth is the least of Ushiromiya Kinzo's (family head) concerns for this year's family conference. After being told that his end was approaching by his long-time friend and physician, Kinzo is desperate to meet his life's true love one last time: the Golden Witch, Beatrice. Having immersed himself in black magic for many of the later years in his life, Kinzo instigates a ceremony to revive his beloved upon his family's arrival on Rokkenjima. Soon after, a violent typhoon traps the family on the island and a string of mysterious murders commence, forcing the eighteen people on the island to fight for their lives in a deadly struggle between fantasy and reality." (lovemyanime.net)


Umineko is categorized by the anime community as a Contemporary Fantasy, Detective, Horror, Seinen, Thriller, and Violence. Well, the first episode is kind of dull, where you are met with Battler Ushiromiya, who is jumping up and down on a boat. Oh, and get used to him kids, he shows up a lot. The only reason why they're even going to Rokkenjima is because apparently there's this huge family conference that will determine the pecking order, I mean, the next successor of the Ushiromiya family. I won't bore you with the details that are as fine as sandpaper, but apparently Battler has a thing for incest…? I mean, he jumps on his cousin Jessica and mentions how big her… um, cleavage is. Also, Battler hates magic. Don't mention it around him unless you want to be shoved into a locker or a fist in your eye.


This guy is supposed to be our hero? Good lord, are we in trouble…


So let's jump right into the review with a bang and some Umineko music to help us go insane~! [Cue Beatrice Laugh] 

The Cast:

 

Humans vs Witches, who will win?

Ushiromiya Family:


For characters, they aren't all bad. They're like your everyday typical aristocratic family. Well, beside the fact that the grandfather/head of the household who is hell-bent on bringing his lover back to life. Let's take a look at them, and see if any of them are worthy of Beatrice's name! [Cue Beatrice Laugh]

Bitch, please, I'm Canadian -- wait, wrong show.

Ange Ushiromiya is Battler's little sister, and the only one to survive the disastrous ending on Rokkenjima by not going. After the incident in 1986, she is sent to an academy to become the next head of the Ushiromiya family. There, she begins to read Maria Ushiromiya's diary, and eventually learns the truth behind her family's disappearance. With her help, Battler is able to overcome his soul being shattered and fight his last battle with Beatrice, the Golden Witch. With an attitude and magic to back it up, Ange Ushiromiya packed a powerful punch and is willing to fight everything for her 'other' self's sake. She just wanted her brother back, after all.


8.5 out of 10






Phoenix Wright wants his Objection pose back.

Battler Ushiromiya, as the protagonist, is a red-haired young man with spectacular blue eyes. Get use to him flipping out over everything that's not real and ripping off Phoenix Wright's "OBJECTION!" pose, because he'll do that. With Battler, there is no such thing as magic. Ziltch, nada, zero, the goose egg – he doesn't believe in magic 0%. He assumes everything can and will be figured out by human reasoning and logic, and seems to have been stuck in a never-ending battle with the Golden Witch, Beatrice. There's no swaying this guy, to be honest. He's willing to stubbornly cling to the fact that magic and witches don't exist. His stubbornness will be his downfall, if it's not his perverted ways first.


5.5 out of 10

Let's do the creep everyone!

George Ushiromiya is only son of Eva Ushiromiya and Hideyoshi Ushiromiya (and if you're curious, Eva is the blood relative of Kinzo, not Hideyoshi), who seems to be a creeper mofo hell-bent on having Shanon, the servant furniture, marry him despite being an Ushiromiya and without his parent's blessings. He demonstrates some smart moves and even martial arts in Episode IV-V Breakthrough, which makes up for his general creepiness. However, I would say keep this kid away from me and if you see him, call the police. Hell, even his character song, Ai no Sengen, is having Shanon (also known as Sayo) marry him, or rather, he's ordering her too. George Ushiromiya is simply one hell of a creepy mofo, in my opinion.


5.5 out of 10

The Original Combustion Man.

Kinzo Ushiromiya, for starters, is a douche. As in, he is willing to kill his own family to bring back his loved one. I can understand bringing back Fluffy the Cat and all, but one's dead mistress? This is probably why I shouldn't be reviewing this… oy vey. Well, he doesn't seem to care for his family, and sees them all as vultures ready to drop in and peck his non-seeing eyes out and take the money for themselves. In fact, I bet he's glad that they're all going to be sacrificed to bring back Beatrice. Overall, I wasn't impressed with this guy, and he seemed to be a character easily forgotten if he wasn't mentioned so many times. Not only does he go loopy-crazy, he also has an incestuous relationship with his own daughter, Beatrice Ushiromiya. Not the witch, but his daughter, because he thought it was his mistress all over again. That's a big turnoff, even by my standards. Not so paafekto.

4.5 out of 10



Uuu © Maria Ushiromiya

Maria Ushiromiya is the daughter of Rosa Ushiromiya, an unimportant character who dies many times and may or may not be bipolar. However, Maria is a smart little girl who loves flowers and magic and saying Uuu and Beatrice. Wait, who's Beatrice? Oh, she's apparently the "witch who lives in the forest" (Also, get used to seeing that name pop up; she'll be sticking around too). Anyways, Maria claims that she has met Beatrice and that had been promised to be taken to this "Golden Land," which doesn't make much sense but whatever. Sakutaro was given to her by her bipolar mother, Rosa, and eventually gives the toy his own soul, thus becoming "The Witch of Origins," as told by Beatrice. She's just a happy little psycho wrapped in a bundle of magic and sweets. Joy, she's like Rena from Higurashi. That makes her awesome in my book, if she didn't do the Uuu so much, she'd be paafekto.


9.5 out of 10

Good lord, if I was part of this family, I wouldn't want anything to do with them. The rest of the family I won't bother to go into detail much, save for several star characters (listed above). They're just the over-average of "MY MONEY, MY RULES LOL."


Overall, the characters display a brilliant dysfunctional setting within an aristocratic family.


Boy, aren't we all going to hell.


Overall score: 6.7 out of 10


Not bad for a dysfunctional aristocratic family. They aren't paafekto, but they're close.


The Servants Furniture:

There isn't anything to talk about you.

Genji is the head of the servant furniture of the Ushiromiya family, and serves only Kinzo. Not much is known about this guy; quiet, always -trustworthy- and always willing to kill someone before they turn into sacrifices say wha? So yeah, apparently Genji can kill someone by merely placing a hand upon their heart, and a red rose of blood will appear on their chest, effectively killing them. Nothing else to note of him, other than he seems to be a simple butler. I wonder if Sebastian could learn something from him (and if any of you Kuroshitsuji fans come after me, I swear to god I'll stab you with Beatrice's pipe).



5 out of 10

... Who are you again? Oh, you're furniture. Never mind.

Kanon is a servant furniture who refuses to give off any human emotion. He says, and I quote, "I am merely furniture" and will stop any friendly advances towards him. There are some cases where he does show emotion, when protecting Jessica (Daughter of Krauss and Natsuhi Ushiromiya), and when he does, it seems like Kanon dies every time. In my book, Kanon is a bad-ass with a snazzy hat, and should be treated as such. Do not piss this guy off, as he has a sword arm appear say wha? Yeah, apparently Kanon can summon a sword that is red on his arm. He used it to protect Jessica when Beatrice appears to use them as sacrifices in Episode II-I Middle Game. In my book, he's awesome. Now if I could get him out of that I-am-merely-furniture-thus-do-not-talk-to-me attitude…


7.5 out of 10

Ronove: The original Demon Butler.

Ronove is quite simply, one hell of a butler. Yes, he's exactly like Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji, (also known as Black Butler to the English people playing at home) ranked 27th in Hell, Ronove is awesome. He can fight with magic, rebuke to Beatrice whenever the hell he wants, and can make the best damn cookies I could think of. Complete with a monocle and a moustache, Ronove is easily my favourite character. His personality is a perfect gentleman who speaks back and pokes fun at Beatrice whenever he wants. This servant furniture is paafekto in my book.


10 out of 10

Human form = Uguu~

 Sakutaro is the most uguu character ever, and I won't deny it. He's adorable as hell! Who wouldn't want a little lion that talks to them?! I mean, I would die to have this lil guy be my servant furniture! I wonder if Maria can let me borrow him… Anyways, Sakutaro is Maria's servant furniture, and cute to top it. He appears in Episode IV-I End Game, when Ange finds Maria's diary and thus begins speaking to her through it. Even the Purgatory Stakes go crazy over the little thing, and I don't blame them. Such a cute little thing, who could say no to him? Paafekto! [Cue Beatrice Laugh]



Plushie Form = SQUEEEEEEE!

10 out of 10








That's... every fanboy's dream come true.

Seven Stakes of Purgatory are the servants the furniture of the witches that summon them. There are obviously seven of them, starting with Lucifer (Pride), Leviathan (Envy), Satan (Wrath), Belphegor (Sloth), Mammon (Greed), Beelzebub (Gluttony), and finally, Asmodeus (Lust). I won't go into each one individually, but it doesn't matter if they're on their own or in a group, these girls will kill you in less time than it does to put on makeup. Each one has a different personality, which makes them great, and they're deadly in their own right. There's nothing much I can say about the Seven Stakes, sadly. Sheer brutality with the ability to switch sides with the likes of a flip of the coin; the Seven Stakes are a dangerous beauty. Not quite paafekto, but close!

8.5 out of 10

The object of George's (and fanboy's) obsession.

Shanon Shan(n)on is Kanon's older sister and is also a servant a piece of furniture. She is in love with George and is engaged to him. She has the ability to create protective force fields around people… huh? Wait, so she has the ability to create force shields? Where were those in Star Wars? Ugh… Annnnyways, Shanon is a sweet lil gal who does what she's told, and even though she dies horribly every freaking time, she always ends up engaged to George Ushiromiya, despite the fact that y'know, she's

a servant a piece of furniture. Shanon is a quiet character, and readily accept everything that happens, but does have a backbone to defy the odds, she even defies Beatrice. Not exactly paafekto material, but she's a character that I would want on my side.

6.5 out of 10




Overall Score: 7.9 out of 10

The Witches:

Glorify my name!

Beatrice, the Golden Bitch Witch is the main antagonist for the show. For me, she has a sharp wit and a complex past, which makes me happy. I love antagonists that show a spine towards the protagonist. With her golden butterflies, and the "Glorify my name," quota, what is there not to like? Not only that, but with Kinzo constantly summoning her to be a creeper, I wouldn't blame her for being the way she is. Not only that, but I mean… comon, she's Beatrice the Golden fucking Witch. How can anyone top that?! To me, Beatrice is paafekto. If I were a witch-in-training, Beatrice would totally be my role model.


10 out of 10



Bitch please, I kill with cake.

Eva-Beatrice is a bundle of psychotic and childish dreams. Granted, I am cosplaying her this summer, but that doesn't mean I have to like her. She's a bitch who thinks she can get away with anything and everything. She even kills Maria of all people in one of the games that Beatrice and Battler fight in. I mean comon! I'm sorry to say, she isn't my favourite character, and I'm glad she got her nasty ending. A power-hungry witch with no other goals than to be a bitch, that's Eva-Beatrice, ladies and gents.


4.5 out of 10





Anyone reminded of Higurashi?

Lady Berkanstel, in short terms, is a bitch. She teams up with Lambdadelta and decides that the "game" that Beatrice and Battler are having is entertaining, and thus torments the both of them through eternity. She is also partly responsible for the incident in Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, alongside with Lambdadelta. Berkanstel is known as the "Witch of Miracles," as long as the "miracle" doesn't add up to zero. This character, frankly, is intriguing. I've always wanted know a bit more of Berkanstel, but alas, the anime doesn't do much to help with that. Oh well. She's a kick-ass witch, who can transform into a cat, and also is the one who helped Ange (read: tricked) into getting Battler his spirit back to finish the fight.


7.5 out of 10

Crazy blonde wearing pink? Check.

Lady Lambdadelta is a psychotic blonde in a pink, Halloween-themed dress. Lambdadelta goes by the title of "The Witch of Certainty" and is also responsible for the events in Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni that happen three years prior to Umineko. Pretty much, don't fuck with her, or you'll end up regretting it. There's not much that I can say about her, since I don't much about this character. I just know that she and Berkanstel hate boredom and found that the battle between Beatrice and Battler was entertaining. Thus, they both decided to torment both in an endless battle. If she weren't blonde and wear pink all that much, I think she'd my twin, unless Eva-Beatrice can take that spot by fighting. Although, I doubt that's highly likely.

8.5 out of 10



Don't trust that smling face.

Maria-Beatrice or rather, "The Witch of Origins," as Beatrice calls her. A delightful package of power, psychopathic tendencies, and more Uuu to boot, Maria-Beatrice is not a witch one would want to cross. After Mommy Dearest destroys Sakutaro, Maria goes bat-shit insane. She even states in Episode VI-III Prophylaxis that she just got around to "feeling better" after killing Rosa over 100 times. Tell me this kid isn't psychotic. I dare you. Over all, after she becomes a witch, Maria is completely awesome. Not quite paafekto, but really, really close.

9.5 out of 10

Snazzy hat there, teacher~

Virgilia was Beatrice the Golden Witch former teacher. Her name was originally Beatrice, but when the Golden Witch took over, Battler gave her the name of Virgilia. She shows up in Episode III-I Castling, calling Beatrice "Princess." Eventually, she trains Beatrice in the ways of magic and gives up her title to her. Virgilia is alright, I don't know much about her, although she does have a kickass fight with Beatrice in Episode III-III Positional Battle, which if that's how witches fight, I better be careful. That was a pretty epic fight, in my opinion. Overall, she's not paafekto, but she's a favourite.


6.5 out of 10









These witches may seem cute and innocent, but each one harbors an evil, dark side. Don't ever trust them.

Overall Score: 7.8 out of 10

Creativity:

Animation:


Company StudioDEEN did the animation for Umineko, which didn't go down very well with the fans of the series. Umineko no Naku Koro Ni was originally a visual novel published by 07th Expansion, and third installment of the "When They Cry" series [reiterating from above]. However, the anime itself did not claim as many fans as the visual novels did. First off, it lacked the dramatic flair that the visual novels did, and seemed to cut out a lot of things, and the attempts to tie everything together were executed poorly. A friend of mine mentions that it looked like that Studio DEEN "didn't really try to make it be of excellent quality," and she's right. I noticed that the animation looked sloppy at times, and it didn't really flow correctly. They attempted to tie too many storylines/story arcs into 26 episodes. There's no way that it could be executed properly. They could've gone to at least maybe 40 episodes, if not 30 to give it a clean ending.


Overall Score: 5.5 out of 10


Plot:


The plot itself I love. Here is again for those who are lazy to scroll up:


"Considered as the third installment in the highly popular "When They Cry" series by 07th Expansion, Umineko no Naku Koro Ni takes place on the island of Rokkenjima (六軒島), owned by the immensely wealthy Ushiromiya family. As customary per year, the entire family is gathering on the island for a conference that discusses the current financial situations of each respective person. Because of the family head's poor health, this year involves the topic of the head of the family's inheritance and how it will be distributed. However, the family is unaware that the distribution of his wealth is the least of Ushiromiya Kinzo's (family head) concerns for this year's family conference. After being told that his end was approaching by his long-time friend and physician, Kinzo is desperate to meet his life's true love one last time: the Golden Witch, Beatrice. Having immersed himself in black magic for many of the later years in his life, Kinzo instigates a ceremony to revive his beloved upon his family's arrival on Rokkenjima. Soon after, a violent typhoon traps the family on the island and a string of mysterious murders commence, forcing the eighteen people on the island to fight for their lives in a deadly struggle between fantasy and reality." (lovemyanime.net)


Just the fact of a never-ending battle between a witch and human fighting over whether or not magic exists is just pretty awesome. The studio that made the anime ruined it, but the visual novels delve deeper into it. Each character pulls their spots into the plot perfectly, and it's just… paafekto. Not only that, but 07th Expansion pulled elements from "And Then There Was None" by Agatha Christie, which is a definite plus. I love that book, and the general idea. There's nothing I can say bad about the plot of Umineko. However, I don't like the mess and tangle that it leaves in its wake. The story arcs are confusing, and constantly switching through during the episodes is kind of a nuisance when I want to watch a particular plot arc. That's a fail, and knocked the plot part down by a point and a half.


Overall Score: 8.5 out of 10


Setting:


The setting is during the 1900s, which mean Neo-Victorian. Which is awesome, why, because well, it's… the 1900s; what else can I say? A lot of stuff happened in the 1900s (like World War I & II, but we won't go there), and just the fact that the main story happens in various versions of 1986, and despite what happens, everyone dies. Well, maybe Ange and Battler, but Ange wasn't there in the first place, so she doesn't count, and if I mention how Battler gets out 'alive', that'll be spoiling it. So there, deal with it. There isn't much I can say about the setting, I mean, they're on a fucking island in the middle of nowhere, with no modern emergency people like the police, fire department and ambulance. Not only that, but it's based on a real place in Japan, no lie. Go look it up, because I'm not going to go searching for 15 minutes. I love the concept, and staying true to "And There Was None," but face it, it's been done before. Movies like Shutter Island and Mindhunters, and a lot more have been made prior to Umineko to the same style idea, so it's nothing new. It just has witches in it.


Overall Score: 6.5 out of 10


Sources:


“And Then There Was None” © Agatha Christie
Erin Hurt - The local Umineko Expert.
Images Found on Google and the Umineko wiki (listed below)
Kuroshitsuji © Yana Toboso
Lovemyanime.net
Mindhunters © Renny Harlin
Shutter Island © Dennis Lehane
Star Wars © George Lucas
Wikipedia.org
“When They Cry” series © 07th Expansion
Umineko Wiki